Secrets to Meeting Women

How to Get a Woman to Like You

(Marlee’s back with some tips on how to get a woman to want you.)

In terms of how to get a woman to like you, the tactics are pretty simple.

However, one thing about women…

We will see right through you. So if your goal of getting a woman to like you is completely shallow in nature, meaning you’re reading this article to try and get in her pants, I’ll tell you right now, you’re completely wasting your time.

However, assuming you’re a good guy who just hasn’t figured out all the complexities of girls yet, and you’re simply interested in how to get women to like you, here’s a list that might help you out.

How to get a woman to like you at work: At work, regardless of if you believe it or not, we are still at a great disadvantage to men. On average a woman still makes only $0.70 to every dollar a man makes, meaning she is often doing the same job you are, but for less money. So at work it’s simple, make sure she knows she’s doing a good job.

As a coworker, mention it next time you see her in the break room. A simple, “Great job on that proposal yesterday, you nailed it!” is all you need to instantly get on her good side, and pretty soon guys you work with will be asking your advice on the subject of how to get women to like you.

How to get a woman to like you at a bar: Women at bars can be tricky, but here’s the thing; above anything else, they will respond to confidence. Confidence is probably the single most important thing if you want to get a girl to chase you.

But, if you’re planning on saying something along the lines of, “Damn girl, your body’s bangin’!” Save it, there’s no quicker way to sabotage yourself than mentioning sex, looks, or her body right away.

At best you’re going to end up buying her drinks all night and going home alone. Try a different approach, and introduce yourself instead. Then ask her questions about herself, listen, and your integrity will be rewarded.

How to get a woman to like you in a class: Classes are a great place to meet women. Cooking classes, gym classes, painting classes, photography classes… the list goes on.

The trick to figuring out how to get women to like you in this situation is simple: pay attention; to the class, that is. Women aren’t going to waste their money, so if they sign up for a cooking class and are instead distracted the entire time, it might not be as enjoyable as they thought it would be.

By all means strike up a conversation, but not at the sake of distracting her from what the instructor is saying. This is a hole in one when figuring out how to get women to like you.

How to get a woman to chase you at the gym: One thing is certain, almost every woman goes to the gym wanting absolutely nothing to do with the guys around her, and the “surefire” technique of offering to spot her is bound to backfire (trust me, she doesn’t need the help of an egotistical stranger).

Instead, compliment her on her lifting form. It shows a whole new side to the “gym rat” she’s familiar with. It shows you’re familiar with the fact that a woman doesn’t need a man, which is incredibly attractive.

How to get a woman to like you in a group/club: Be good at whatever you’re doing, and if you’re not? Have a good time. If you’re wondering how to get women to like you, joining a cycling group or a co-ed softball league would be a great step.

If you’re already a world class cyclist, striking up a conversation should come as no problem, as she might be looking to you for advice. Just make sure you’re humble and encouraging in any conversation. And if you consider yourself a complete novice, just make sure to be lighthearted throughout the way.

The whole points of groups or clubs is to get involved and have fun, so dragging the mood down by taking everything so seriously is going to be a major mood killer.

How to get a woman to like you in a coffee shop or library: Be ready to leave her alone. A woman sipping coffee and reading her favorite book is always fair game, but make sure you don’t tramp all over her “alone time”.

Ask her about her book, what flavor of coffee she might recommend, than leave the rest to her. If she goes right back to her book or newspaper leave her alone and take a seat nearby. She’ll appreciate that you’re not pushy, and she may even ask you to join her.

Click the link here to get an interview where I give you secrets to attracting women.

Where Can I Meet Girls?

Well, anywhere, really. But that’s not what you were asking, was it? The fact is, as many men (or women) may keep themselves up at night staring at the computer screen muttering the same phrase over and over again in their heads, “Where can I meet girls, where can I meet girls…” Unfortunately, Google is not going to just miraculously give you the answer… unless of course, you find you’ve arrived at this site.

So let’s hear it: are you on the prowl for someone to settle down with? Someone to introduce to the parents in a few weeks, and who will be happy to raise 2.5 children and spend future afternoons helping you landscape your perfectly picket-fenced yard?

Or are you looking more for the good time, someone with a bit of a wild side that isn’t going to be looking deep into your eyes wondering what she’s going to get out of this deal come Valentine’s Day… either way, here are some great spots to answer the age old question: what are some good places to find a woman?

Top 7 Places for the question: Where Can I Meet Girls?

1.) The Gym: The gym is a fantastic place to meet girls, plus it shows her you care about yourself. Humility and a sense of humor go a long way, but if you’re a looker, why not use it to your advantage? Just be sure you do it right. Offering to spot is only going to make you look like a jackass, so instead, compliment her on her lifting form. So what if it sucks, you can help her adjust it later (mental high five).

2.) Hardware Stores: Now you may find this generic, but it’s a fact of life… most women do not know their way around a tool shed. Now I’m not talking about your best friend’s super-hot sister who can take an entire ’68 Charger and put it back together again, I’m talking about your everyday woman.

Want a little trick of the trade? Wear something that makes it look like you might work where you’re shopping. Are you headed to Home Depot? Wear a red shirt. Lowe’s? Try a blue one… just enough so when she’s completely lost she will inherently turn to you. Just be sure you know what a caulking gun is.

3.) A Self-improvement Seminar: Most women are suckers for the whole “meant to be” idea. And can you blame them? Society has been drilling pictures of Prince Charming into their heads before they learned how to digest soft foods. A self-improvement seminar is a collection of women who are taking the initiative and looking for a man who does the same. Ask her why she’s there or how she heard about it, and you’re in.

4.) Classes: Don’t feel like going to a cooking class? Or a yoga class? Or a language or dancing class? Too bad. If you want to meet girls you have to get out of your comfort zone, and these places are treasure troves. Not to mention the fact that you’ll most likely be the only man in the group. Not a lot of guys are going to take a pottery class, but the number of women hoping for a little Ghost action? It’s substantial. Don’t know what I’m talking about when I reference the movie Ghost? Rent it, watch it, and practice your best clay-molding skills.

5.) Sports Games/Sports Clubs: What, you thought sports games were only a complete sausage fest with no chance in hell of meeting an attractive woman? Think again. More women are into sports than you think, and it’s easy to approach women there. Just because she isn’t getting ESPN updates on her phone doesn’t mean she’d ever turn down a few tickets to her favorite hockey team. Think about joining a rock climbing group or going to the next baseball game with your beer-drinking buddies, just keep your eyes peeled for the hottie needing a rappelling partner.

6.) Concerts: Concerts are a great place to meet women. Everyone is there for a good time, and you automatically have something in common. Of course, thinking there’s going to be a plethora of single gals lining up at a Savage Circus concert (unless you’ve got it bad for the goth girls), is a bit arrogant. Suck it up and buy some Dave Matthews tickets.

7.) Shopping Malls: Sure this is probably the last place you want to go, but that’s not the point. How bad are you looking to meet cute girls? Play the, “I’m buying something for my sister” line, and ask her advice. As soon as you make the purchase invite her for some coffee.

If this post makes sense to you and you don’t already have my product that includes female psychology, how to approach, and techniques for creating attraction, click here to see if it’s for you!

How To Pick Up Women – 5 tips for talking to women

We have Marlee with us again today with a few tips for talking to women.

Here’s a bit of wisdom for how to pick up women that you might be happy to know: women aren’t as much into looks as guys may think.

Well, some are, but you don’t want to bother with those girls anyway, they’ll make your life a living hell and you won’t notice until 16 years later when you’ve been involuntarily castrated and live with a substantial number of cats. Consider yourself warned.

And yes, I’m sure many of you have heard women say something like, “Oh my god, I just want to go out and have a good time without being bothered all night by horny teenage boys!”

Intimidating right?

Absolutely, but want to know a little secret- that statement isn’t entirely true.

She doesn’t, in fact, want to be “bothered” all night by a string of sub-par male suitors attempting to hoodwink their way into her pants. But to have an actual conversation with a confident, charming man? Please, very few women are going to turn down that offer.

So if you happen to have your eye on an attractive woman and you don’t want to completely blow it, read on.

1.) Approach her.

There are few things that instantly boost a woman’s self confidence than a man walking right up to her, saying he thought she was beautiful and asking her name. Hell, I even have a boyfriend and if a guy says that to me at a bar I’m guaranteed to at least give him 10 minutes of my time. How can I not? It’s so damn sexy.

2.) Compliment her on something other than looks.

About to blow your mind here: saying something like, “Your tits are effin’ righteous” isn’t exactly going to do the trick. Ask her what she’s interested in and then find something admirable about it. She’s studying for a law degree? Compliment how intelligent and driven she must be. She’s a three-time miming champion? Mention how unique of a hobby that is.

Oh and don’t be fake about it. If you have a deep seated fear of mimes (or unique women), don’t bother, she’ll see right through it and you’ll quickly find yourself in the douche-bag category. Go too far, and you’ll be lucky if you don’t end up with a drink in your face.

3.) Ask questions, follow-up questions, and listen.

This, in fact is an actual skill that would benefit many people, not just ones attempting to talk to women. I have a Master’s in Psychology, and one of my favorite studies was one meant to determine how people become highly rated in conversation skills. The results? People with the best listening skills were rated as the best conversationalists. The lesson? Listen, don’t interrupt, and ask open-ended questions. She says she’s from Missouri? Ask her what brought her out to California. She loves to ski? Ask her how she learned. She’ll walk away thinking she’s known you for years.

4.) Ask if you can buy her a drink.

Bonus points if it’s not alcohol (we’re talking coffee, a milkshake, or some iced tea). Cliché I know, and I can hear the feminists of the world groaning, but as far as I’m concerned it’s just plain polite. I’m not saying buy her every drink for the rest of the night, but if you’ve been talking and it seems to be going well, no point in blowing it by refusing to put down an extra $3.00 for a beer. Which brings me to my final and possibly most important point:

5.) Be nice to everyone around you.

Tip the bartender, say please and thank you, hold the door for people coming in as you leave (together maybe?). Nothing is more of a turnoff than a man (um, excuse me, boy) who looks down on others. You are no better than the cab driver, the waitress, or the door man. She’s not an idiot, she knows you’re going to be on your best behavior while she’s paying attention to you, so if you’re a complete ass to others, how long will it be until you start treating her like that?

Go ahead, I dare you to try out these tips when you’re out picking up women tonight. Women are looking for confident, caring, and nice guys. A bad boy might suck her in for a brief moment, but it’s a useless ploy. Besides, women that fall for bad boys only do for a certain amount of time before they get sick of the immaturity and start looking for someone they don’t have to babysit.

If this post makes sense to you and you don’t already have my product on attracting women for shy guys that includes female psychology, how to approach, and techniques for creating attraction, click thru to this page on my other site and buy it now!

JT on a Soapbox

Okay, I’m going to follow up on Marlee’s last 2 posts on here and tell you what I think about her dating advice… It’s JT-on-a-soapbox today.

First of all, her post on meeting women in bars and clubs… It basically revolves around dancing. And dancing is something I pretty much suck at.

I don’t get music. Not at all. And I don’t care either. I couldn’t name 20 famous musicians. It makes for some awkward situations sometimes. For example I went out with the girl here in Vegas who does Celine Dion’s hair.

Now, I had no idea who Celine Dion was. It sounded like a black girl’s name to me, so I asked her what she could do with her hair. Turns out that Celine Dion is actually a really famous white girl and you can do a lot with her hair. Who woulda thunk it? Not me.

Here’s why I don’t care. Famous people have no bearing on my life. None. They aren’t going to help me live a better life, lead me to my goals, bring me happiness or add value to my life. They don’t even know I exist and I think it’s kinda creepy to worship and talk about someone who I don’t know and who has no influence on my life.

Anyway, I don’t have an ear for music. I have no melody, or rhythm, or whatever you call it. I look like a twitching robot when I “dance”.

Now I DID learn to swing dance as a surprise for one of my girlfriends when she was away for a semester abroad in Australia, but even that ended up being awkward because she’s 6’1 in flats and I’m 5’10” stretched out.

But after we broke up… wow did knowing a few moves come in handy when it came to picking up women. Even though I have no sense of melody, I can still swing a girl around a bit. And I’m a good lead, even if we are going at our own pace and ignoring the music.

I also discovered that no matter where I am in the world, taking a girl’s hand and twirling her around on the dance floor-making her the center of attention-makes it a whole lot easier to seduce her.

So yeah, I’d say learn to dance.

As far as Marlee’s post on what creepy guys do, I think that’s great dating advice. I loved it. I worked with a guy for 2 days who had those same kind of tendencies. He thought all these women secretly wanted him, but for one reason or another were afraid to show it.

He would write them notes, go to their houses, and surprise them at work even though they would ignore him and one girl even called the cops. He told me she was “playing hard to get.”

Holy shit, that’s messed up.

I will say that there is something to be said for persistence. I’ve waited years for women I’ve wanted. Keeping in casual contact with them through a phone call, card or email for years while I waited for them to be single, move closer to me or visit the States from overseas.

You just gotta know when enough is enough. That’s kind of an art form and I probably have 10 or 20 women at a time that have this kind of warm-but-not-hot relationship with. The trick is to know when to push hard and know when to back off. The only way you learn is through experience, so it really helps if you are working a few of these girls just for practice. Actually, some of the best dating advice I can give you is to simply meet as many women as you can so you get experience in a lot of different types of relationships.

I totally agree that things like “accidentally” running into a girl is really lame. Not that I haven’t done it before and had it work. But unless you have really good social fluency, it’s really easy to come off as obsessive and stalkerish.

Oh, and that reminds me, I read an FML recently where this girl was over at her new boyfriend’s house. She was looking through his photo albums and found a one filled with candid pictures of her in random places from 2 and 3 years before they even “met”. And if that doesn’t creep you out, PLEASE leave my blog and never come back.

But, if you get just how scary that is, well I think we are going to continue to have a good time together learning how to meet women.

Talk later. Enjoy—JT

If this post makes sense to you and you don’t already have my product on attracting women for shy guys that includes female psychology, how to approach, and techniques for creating attraction, you can click thru to this page and take a look!

Okay, Marlee’s writing again today. I don’t know about you, but I think she’s hilarious. I’ll give you my 2 cents worth in the next post.

How to be a Creeper

In general, a guy making a serious effort to garnish the interest of a woman is admirable. We’ve all seen the romantic comedy with the guy that says, “You keep saying you’re not interested, but I’ll get you to come around.”

Collective sigh: “Awwww!”

Back to reality. That line is all fine and good when coming from a slightly charming, completely harmless teddy bear, but from the guy already labeled as an official “Creeper”, it’s reason enough to file a restraining order.

Examples, you ask? Of course!

1.) “Rapist Wit”

Let’s start with the above example. If you’re not feeling like there’s a connection (which there probably isn’t, sorry) don’t even remotely think you’re going to get away with something like, “I know where you live, you’ll be seeing me.” Please, that line is much better used after you’ve already been hanging out with a girl. Saying that to someone at a bar is not only ballsy, but disturbing. Trust me, I know. I work at a psychiatric hospital.

2.)”Run-in”

A Run-in is when you purposely try to see her again outside of your usual watering hole. It’s a tough act to pull off, and the results could be detrimental.

Now I’m not talking about the, “Wow, that woman is gorgeous, I wonder how I can see her again? She did say she owned a pet grooming shop, maybe if I take my dog to all the shops in town I might run into her…” That’s freakin’ adorable and is guaranteed to at least get you a pity date.

But running into her at the grocery store and then starting the conversation with, “Hey, remember me? We danced together 2 months ago at that club on 18th Street? You wore red shoes and a glittery dress?” Yeah, awkward. If you have to remind her who you are, just move along. If she’s interested she’ll speak up.

3.) “Phone Number Trickery”

Another favorite strategy of the “Run-in” is the “Phone Number Trickery” strategy. This. Will. Never. Work.

Let me make this perfectly clear: if a woman does not intentionally give you her phone number, weaseling your way into getting it is not only forbidden, but as close to scraping the bottom of the barrel as you as possibly get.

Example: at a club 2 years ago I was approached by a guy and he started up a conversation. He asked who I was here with, and I told him my friends. He replied with, “Oh man, I haven’t seen my friends in awhile and I lost my phone. You think I could use yours to try and call them?”

“Sure,” I said. Big mistake. Why? He didn’t call his friends, he called his own phone. After he gave mine back to me I headed out to the dance floor and didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night. But the next day, I started getting text messages from him, claiming I’d “given” him my phone number. No, I didn’t give him my phone number. He texted me off and on me for an entire year. And there was no floundering on my end. I blatantly told him to lose my number, I never gave it to him, and I was never interested. If there was ever a definition of the word “loser”, it would be this guy. Get a girl’s number the honorable way; by asking for it.

4.) “Puppy Dog”

This is pretty basic. It’s the guy that follows the girl around all night because he wants to talk to her but can’t get up the nerve. Well get up the nerve. Following her around is disgusting. That’s it.

5.) “Virtuous Boy”

This one might make some people squirm, but screw it. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having someone walk up to you and ask if they can talk to you about Jesus, or Brigham Young, or whoever they’re religiously in love with. First of all, it implies that I look like I need saving (which I don’t), and second of all, I’m probably busy sinning my ass off at the moment, so this intended conversation is hands down a deal breaker.

In general, if you want to avoid coming off as a creeper, show some confidence. The trait of creepiness shows through more than ever when you’re attempting to be sly with a girl. And a little secret from me to you? She’s not falling for it.

If this post makes sense to you and you don’t already have my product on attracting women for shy guys that includes female psychology, how to approach, and techniques for creating attraction, click thru to this page and buy it now!

Picking Up Girls At Bars

Picking Up girls at bars is easy… if you’ve got the guts
Marlee is writing today’s post on meeting women in bars. (If you want to know more about her, read yesterday’s post.)

I thought I’d ask her to start with meeting women in clubs and bars since a lot of you have asked about it. To be honest, alcohol and women is really not my thing these days – it takes all the sport out of it for me. I used to go out drinking all the time, but these days I prefer day game and online dating.

Plus, what she’s going to tell you here is better than anything I could tell you, especially for clubs since they were never my thing. Enjoy this, and if you have questions, email me… Marlee will be glad to answer you in upcoming posts.

Rule #1 to Picking Up Girls at Bars: Learn to Dance
I can already hear the collective groaning of men all across the country, but frankly, I couldn’t care less. The easiest way to pick up women in bars is dancing with them. Hands down.

Let me level with you here. Women do not go out to meet men. Men go out to meet women, women go out to dance. Unless you want to spend all night battling the friend grenade to get to the girl you’ve had your eye on, read on.

Now of course this all depends on what kind of bar you find yourself at, but in the end it doesn’t matter. Whether you’re into the curvy hottie sporting the D-cups or the tall drink of water, every woman (every woman) likes to be twirled around a dance floor. If your response is, “But dancing is stupid, and the places I go don’t have dancing,” get your head out of your ass. The only places that don’t have dancing are sports bars, and meeting women there is a whole other ballgame (no pun intended) altogether. So in the meantime, get over yourself. Research has proven (my research) that at no point in time has a man willing to dance ever lost out to the “smooth guy” sitting on the sidelines. And if you’re completely unwilling to at least bob your head? I wish you luck in your upcoming bout of involuntary celibacy.

So let’s get to it.

There are basically two types of bar/club dancing that you need to concern yourself with; bump’ ‘n’ grind and partner dancing. Both have their obvious benefits (this might be as close to an attractive woman as you’ll get all night) and both have their disadvantages (get too handsy and you might find yourself flat on your back looking up at a rather ticked off boyfriend).

#2 Rule for Picking Up Girls in Clubs: Dance The Bump ‘n’ Grind

Technically speaking, this is the easier of the two. All you really have to do is follow a beat and pay attention to her. Now read the previous sentence again and pay extra close attention to the last four words… pay attention to her. Trust me, in this situation your dance moves are the least of her concerns. As a matter of fact, unless you really know what you’re doing, just let her go. Don’t try to impress. Even with the 2.5% chance you truly are a phenomenal dancer, the best case scenario is she’ll be slightly impressed then ditch your ass for someone who appreciates someone less skilled as herself.

Let me reiterate: all she really needs is someone to stand behind her and move with the beat. Think about it, if that pole on stage weren’t already occupied chances are even it would be seeing some serious action. Why do you think so many women dance with other women? Contrary to your wishful fantasy that 80% of dancing women are bisexual, they’re not lesbians, they just want someone to move with them. Oh and if they are lesbians leave them the hell alone, you’ll just come off as annoying.

Rule #3 for Picking Up Girls in Bars: Partner Dancing

The partner dance has one major difference from the bump ‘n’ grind. As stated above, the bump ‘n’ grind is all about letting her do her thing, you just hang back and enjoy yourself. The partner dance, however, (think Jitterbug, Swing Dancing, Salsa, etc) is for you to show you’re a man. Here, she wants you to take the lead and swing her around the floor.

Case in point: as a hot-blooded American woman myself, when I go out, I’m usually planning on being adequately inebriated to dance with someone a little closer than I was originally planning, and while the classic bump ‘n’ grind is all fine and good, it’s not going to be enough to get me home with you. But if you can take me in your arms, hold me like a woman should be held and subconsciously play into the Dirty Dancing fantasy ever woman on the planet secretly has? Oh, honey, it’s on.

So I’m sure there are men out there sweating beads right now trying to think of ways of picking up women in bars other than dancing, but it just ain’t gonna happen. If you find yourself at a bar talking up a gorgeous woman, the nerdiest guy in the world could ask her to dance, and unless you just asked her 4 seconds earlier, she’s going to say yes. To him.

I agree and disagree with what’s here. To see my response to this, read the next post.

If you want to get better at meeting women during the day and you don’t already have my product on attracting women that includes the seduction sequence, female psychology, how to approach, and techniques for creating attraction, click here and buy it now!

Dating Advice From a Women to All the Guys Out There

Dating advice from a woman to a guy is better than listening to your guy friends…

Okay, there are some exciting things going on for you guys here. First of all, a lot of you will be happy to see that you can finally buy something from me and learn more about what I think it takes to be successful with women. I apologize for taking so long, but I’ve been incredibly busy.

Most of what I have for you is on my other site, online-dating-mastery.com and you can check out what I have there. For guys here on this blog, I would say that your best bet is to get Instant Internet Attraction. It goes through the seduction sequence and mentality from the basics to the advanced stuff.

I’ve re-arranged my schedule, so hopefully I can get you guys new material every month or so. And you know you can always get personal coaching too.

Second, I’ve asked a friend of mine, Marlee, to write a few posts here for you so we can all get some advice straight from a woman. I’m not sure how it will work exactly. One possibility is that she writes for you, and then I comment… and vice-versa.

I might just give her the blog for a little while and see how you guys like it and if the new perspective helps you.

Maybe she can answer your questions in the blog. In fact if you want a normal woman’s honest opinion on things, this could be a GREAT opportunity for you to get it. Contact me here and I’ll ask Marlee to answer your questions. Just put “Marlee” in the subject line or in the message somewhere.

Let me tell you a little about her, and why I wanted her to write about picking up women…

She’s doesn’t know anything about the community, nothing about the “science” of pickup, she hasn’t heard of Mystery or Style. She’s never been exposed to any of the theories on how to meet women doesn’t know what approach anxiety is. She has no clue what an IOI or DHV is. She has never had anyone run The Cube on her. None of it.

She’s a REAL person, a college athlete, she has a degree, a job she loves, and a life. And she’s super cute. The perfect girl next door. Just the kind of girl all of us guys want.

Naive in a sexy way. Sexy in a hot way. Smart and street smart. She’s educated and can adapt to social situations to make you look good (she even figured me out damn fast). Pretty but not so pretty that you feel intimidated. Someone you can take home to meet your family, but you know she will still rock your world.

In short, she thinks like 90% of the girls out there, and she’s the girl 90% of us guys want. If you understand her, you understand women. She wants the same things as other women you’d want to be with. She has the same misconceptions about what she thinks she wants and what will really attract her to a guy. She understands herself and guys enough to get the subtext of situations. And guys try to pick her up all the time… so she can tell us what works and what doesn’t.

So, with her permission, maybe we’ll do a little “case study” on her (which is kinda funny since she has a psych degree) and I can point out what I think is going on.

Sometimes I’ll be dead on, and it will probably be a revelation to her. And other times I might be way off base and she can teach me a few things. At least we’ll get an unbiased, pure, REAL perspective and not some fictitious idea of what some PUA thinks women are thinking.

Tomorrow she’ll be giving us her first post on dating advice! I’ve asked her to write about picking up girls in bars since it’s a topic I don’t feel I’m an expert on anymore, and don’t do too often these days.

Dating Social Anxiety–How to deal with social anxiety while meeting women

Social anxiety might actually be overstating things a bit here.  For sure,  a lot of people get nervous when put into situations that put them on the spot (giving a speech in class, going somewhere new where you don’t know anyone, being on stage, etc.), but some people have a debilitating fear that keeps them from interacting in social situations.

I have the feeling that most of us out there don’t actually suffer from clinical “social anxiety”, but that is the best term I can think of to describe the fear a lot of guys feel when out there trying to meet women.  So, save the emails and nasty comments and just let me run with this one here.  You’ll be glad you did.  Actually, let’s call it “dating social anxiety” and go from there.  Or we could call it social phobia dating, social anxiety disorder dating…whatever you choose to call it really doesn’t matter.  If you suffer from it, you know it!!  And it sure makes it hard to walk up to girls and talk to them, doesn’t it!

You see, even your buddy JT has had to overcome his  dating social anxiety.  Some guys just exude confidence naturally—I hate those guys—but the rest of us mere mortals need to work a bit at it.  Granted, after working on it long enough you look back and realize—hey, I AM confident!!!  That’s where I want to get you:  past your dating social anxiety and into the arms of the woman of your dreams.

The fact is, it’s hard walking up to a girl or group of girls you’re interested in and opening them.  I get that.  Been there, got the T-shirt.  It’s hard to go to a club where you feel out of place and outclassed but still try to look like you’re the life of the party.  But we have to get our heads right and get into the mindset that says, “You know what, I don’t care if I fail at this.  Actually, I hope I fail so I can learn from it and be better next time!”

Combating negative thoughts is your first line of defense against dating social anxiety, and it’s the technique I’m going to focus on here.

You may find yourself thinking negatively when you’re about to engage in a social situation, saying to yourself, “I’m going to look stupid if I go up to that girl”, “there’s no way she’s gonna give me her number”, “as soon as I get there I’m going to freeze up and forget what I was going to say”, or “that girl is way too hot for me, I don’t have a chance.”

If that happens to you, a great way to get past it is to analyze the negative questions and challenge them.  “If I do end up looking stupid, does it really matter?  Will I ever even see her again?”  “If she doesn’t give me her number, who cares.  There are 20 other hot girls in this place that I can go for if this one turns out to be a flop.”  “So, worst case is I get up there and forget what I’m going to say…well, I can just turn around and walk away in that case.”  Or maybe, “wow, that girl really is too hot for me.  Might as well give it a shot because there’s nothing to lose!”

Analyzing and challenging the negative thoughts goes a long way to reducing them to the ridiculous.

Here are 4 types of thinking that you may recognize, as laid out by social anxiety site helpguide.org.  See if any of them sound familiar…

• Mind reading – Assuming you know what other people are thinking, and that they see you in the same negative way that you see yourself.
• Fortune telling – Predicting the future, usually while assuming the worst will happen. You just “know” that things will go horribly, so you’re already anxious before you’re even in the situation.
• Catastrophizing – Blowing things out of proportion. If people notice that you’re nervous, it will be “awful,” “terrible,” or “disastrous.”
• Personalizing – Assuming that people are focusing on you in a negative way or that what’s going on with other people has to do with you.

The first step in battling dating social anxiety is realizing that there’s a problem in the first place. I know, pretty freakin cliché right?  But it’s the truth!  Battle your negative thoughts, challenge them, and get her number!  Who cares if you strikeout, there’s more where she came from.  And if she doesn’t give you her number…you’re better off because the dumb broad wasn’t smart enough to see the man of her dreams standing right in front of her!!  And if she’s that dumb, who wants to be trapped with the idiot for the next 6 months while she figures it out?

Dating Social Anxiety–How to deal with social anxiety while meeting women
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AMOG–Tips you need to know about dealing with the alpha

AMOGs.. I don’t like ’em, you don’t like ’em. Just to be clear, an AMOG is the Alpha Male Of the Group. He is the one who comes up to you while you’re opening a set, or talking to a group of girls, whatever…you know what I mean.

So this is the guy who spouts some gem like, “hey, nice pants. I didn’t know they sold women’s clothes in that size”.

What a winner. Wouldn’t it be nice to smack that polo shirt wearing, popped collar having, skinny jean wearing SOB in his smug stupid idiot FACE??

Well, sorry to say, we can’t do that. I, for one, would love to. Buuuut…I don’t really like jail and/or paying fines.

Soooooooo…that leaves us one option: deal with the AMOG. He’s inevitable, so I gues we gotta.

Here’s what you have to remember. We can turn the tables on the AMOG and make him look like a chump, and increase your chances for getting the girl you’re aiming for.

What you have to do is reduce the AMOG to an insignificant and ridiculous part of the equation.

How, pray tell, do you do that? Well, it’s simple. But just like anything you want to accomplish in life, it takes some practice. It’s the same with dealing with AMOGs…you have to rehearse what you’ll do in a given situation.

Ever notice that you think of a great comeback about 20 minutes after dealing with somebody that makes fun of you? The same thing happens when some SOB AMOG pipes up and tries to ruin your chances with “his” girl and gets his little pecker in a bunch because you might offer something she actually WANTS.

So, what you need to do is make that idiot look like just that: an idiot. But again, making the AMOG look stupid is something you have to prep for a little bit.

Here are some lines you can have in your arsenal for when you have to deal with the AMOG.

“Are you being serious right now?” (while looking around at the others in the group with a look of utter confusion)

Look at him deadpan and say, “I’m sorry, I really don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

This is always a good one: “Why are you trying so hard?”

Another one to have on tap is “I’ve heard worse from better.”

The big thing to remember when dealing with AMOGs is that you need to play off whatever they say like it doesn’t bother you at all. The girls in the group know when the wannabe is being an A-hole, and they also know when someone is cool enough to not get heated up over the situation.

By brushing it off, or better yet, turning it around on the twit, you set yourself apart from the rest of the guys out there.

And what you always have to keep in mind is that its being DIFFERENT than the other guys that she meets that gets her attention.

AMOG–Tips you need to know about dealing with the alpha
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