Learn how to attract women by using universal attraction principles.
There are some things that women find attractive in men, no matter what society, culture or country they’re from. There are several of these qualities that have been identified, and in this post I’d like to cover three of them:
1. Being Healthy
2. Being Socially Perceptive
3. Having a Sense of Humor
Let’s take a look at the first key to how to attract women: being healthy. A woman wants to know that you’re going to be there for a while, and be able to take care of her for the long term—however long she figures that will be.
It’s not just about being in decent shape that she finds important (although that doesn’t hurt); it’s even more vital that you are clean, well groomed and have some sense of style. If you don’t have major health issues, you’re going to be fine. Even if you do, just spin them so that they don’t interfere with you doing the things you want to with your life.
For example, I had a paragliding accident and I broke my back. Now I have pins and rods holding my spine where it’s supposed to be. This, for all intents and purposes, should take away from my attractiveness to women. But I spin it in a way that tells them I’m immortal, blessed to be in such good shape that I’m fully mobile after an accident that leaves 83% of people not being able to walk again. Most people don’t even live after the kind of crash I had. I’m supposed to be dead! That’s how you turn something negative into a positive that works to create attraction. The important thing is to show that you have things under control and you’re dealing with it.
The second, social perception, means that you have an understanding of how the world works; her world in particular. It also means doing and saying the right things in social situations. If you’re not good at this already, then one of the best things you can do is to go out in public with people that ARE good at it and observe them. Watch how they talk to people, the way they use touch, their tone of voice and body language.
If you take a look at people like JFK, Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan on YouTube, you’ll see what I mean. You can also look up videos of good motivational speakers. They have a great grasp on social perception.
One of the ways you can show your social understanding when asking for a phone number is by saying:
“Oh, and if I give you my number, you’re not going to end up being one of those girls who texts like 50 times a day, are you? :)” or “And just because you have my number, that doesn’t mean you can call me 10 times a day and fill up my voicemail box. 🙂 I expect you to show some restraint.”
Or when suggesting a first meeting:
“You’re not one of those clingy women who’s going to decide she loves in the first five minutes, suggest moving in together, and want to have babies are you? :)”
Those examples are taken from Instant Internet Attraction from my sister site on online dating and they work like gangbusters in real life pickup too. There are a ton of examples of ways to show your social perception included with that product.
A woman wants to know that she is safe when she’s with you. You can achieve that by showing social perception. For example, if you can protect her with words, then you don’t need to act like a hard ass or be in Ultimate Fighter condition. This is even more important when dealing with sophisticated women. We’re talking surgeons, lawyers, CEO’s and executives, and every one that I’ve been with appreciate more being able to handle tough situations with verbal judo rather than actual hand-to-hand combat.
Now let’s tackle the last quality for this post: humor
When we laugh with someone, it creates a bond with them. Just like having an orgasm, laughing produces chemicals in woman’s body that create positive emotions and positive feelings for the person that caused them. But here’s the thing—having a sense of humor is NOT an attraction trigger. I know, I know, that flies in the face of everything you hear from everybody. Every friend, woman, you name it says that women find a sense of humor attractive. I’m not convinced of that.
You see, it’s a cause and effect thing. She is attracted to you, so she laughs. Not the other way around. Keep your ears open next time you see a hot girl laughing with a guy and you’ll probably hear some boring, lame story that is NOT funny. But she’s laughing. Yes, she does find him funny. And she would probably say that he has a great sense of humor. But that’s because she’s already attracted to him. It’s obvious that this guy isn’t funny. But that doesn’t matter.
This is reinforced by the fact that I know a lot of guys that are hilariously funny—we’re talking professional comic material here—but they don’t ever make it out of the friend zone. Girls say that they’re really fun to be around, but they never make that jump to something more physical.
And then there are guys like me, who aren’t really very funny and don’t have great jokes… but we date just about anybody we want to. Take a look at some of the guys you know that are really good with women. Chances are the first thing you think of when you picture them is not their sense of humor.
Now, all this doesn’t mean that having a sense of humor and being funny is a bad thing. Quite the opposite is true, and the good thing is that being funny is something you can work on and get better at. One of the best ways is to watch comics and see how they make their deliveries. Their timing, tone and words they use. Another good thing to do is to watch their videos with the sound off. That way you can see their body language while their delivering the material. As usual, the nonverbal communication cues you use are equally or more important than the actual words.
There are two things to keep in mind when working on being funny and developing your sense of humor. The first is to make sure you’re not ONLY being funny. Taking it too far can make you seem like a clown, and that’s not what you’re after.
The second is to avoid being self-deprecating with your humor, especially in the beginning. After you get to know her a little bit it’s ok, but at the very beginning it’s too dangerous. It lowers your status, and this is definitely not what you want to do at this stage. If you have ANYTHING self-deprecating in your profile, TAKE IT DOWN NOW!!! That isn’t what how you want to make your first impression.
In the next post we’re going to take a look at dating women who you might think are out of your league, but in the meantime work on these three and you’ll see your confidence and success with women pick up immediately. You can also check out this post on how to meet and approach women.
