Three things to keep in mind when learning how to pick up women
What got me to the level with women that I’ve achieved is a constant love of learning. Reading all I can get my hands on, then going and putting that new found knowledge to the test when learning how to pick up women..
That hasn’t changed at all, and I love seeing what people that I respect in the game have to say and what they’re discovering.
One guy I respect is Mark Manson, the man behind Practical Pickup. I recently came across some information he put together that I wanted to share it with you.
He has what he calls the Three Fundamentals for picking up women.
1. Lifestyle — Determines the Quality of the women you date.
Lifestyle includes your hobbies, your social circles, your career, interests, how good looking you are, your style, your fashion, how much money you have, how successful you are.
The quality of your lifestyle determines the quality of women who will be attracted to you. The unfortunate truth is that PEOPLE (both men and women) rarely, if ever, “date down” in the quality department. Having amazing “game” does very little to change this (we’ll get to that in a minute).
This is true to some extent, and may be for a lot of guys…but the proper understanding of female psychology will nullify this if you do it right.
Just like you don’t want to date a frumpy girl who has nothing interesting going for her, really hot women don’t want to date a frumpy guy who has nothing interesting going for him. Good-looking people tend to date one another. Ugly people tend to date one another. Rich people tend to date each other. Poor people tend to date each other. This doesn’t mean you HAVE to be rich and good-looking to score a super hot chick, but it means you have to have SOMETHING going on in this department — amazing hobbies, a slam-dunk career, a wide network of friends who like you, being well-traveled and well-educated, being financially secure, etc. The more you got going on, the better quality you’ll attract.
Ah-ha! Now that is more like it. It’s not about how much money you have, and not how attractive you are. Being interesting is such a huge part of it. He talks also about how lifestyle alone doesn’t determine your success with women, and that a lot of rich guys and good looking guys that don’t have beautiful women…it’s just that it stacks the deck in your favor.
2. Overcoming Your Anxieties — Determines the quantity of women you date.
Most men don’t get laid or don’t get dates because they’re simply not meeting enough women. In some ways, this is just a numbers game, and in the long-run, the more you get out there, the more you’ll get in terms of results. For many guys, this is really ALL they need to learn to do, as they have the other two fundamentals in order.
Approach Anxiety — cripples your ability to meet new women and even having a shot with them. Crucial to overcome at a very early stage to even have a chance of developing a lifestyle filled with women.
Social Anxiety — fear of being around people or expressing yourself. Commonly known as shyness. Seriously destroys your ability to connect with people quickly and deeply, therefore crippling your chance at connecting with women deeply and quickly.
Sexual Anxiety — fear of intimacy and expressing your sexuality towards women. Prevents you from escalating, being sexually aggressive, making the first move, and also seriously debilitates your ability in bed.
He’s on to something here, and he’s is right about it being a numbers game. The amount of times I’ve been shot down would blow your mind. It’s just that I kept going and going…and the rewards have far outweighed the momentary embarrassment!
Take a moment and imagine that you are FEARLESS with women. You fear absolutely nothing. No approach scares you. You see a girl, and you go. You don’t even think about it. You feel comfortable saying ANYTHING to anyone at any time. You tell girls exactly how you feel, how much you want to fuck them and while you speak to them (with confident posture and eye contact), you touch them liberally. When you get them alone, you never hesitate to make the first move and you never hesitate to bring them to the bedroom. How ridiculous would your love life be? There’d practically be women falling out of the sky.
The quantity of your results is limited by how afraid you are to act.
While that may sound absolutely crazy to you, it’s not really very far off the mark. I’ve said such crazy things to women and had it turn out just the way I wanted that I have to agree with him here. You don’t get blowjobs within the first 15 minutes of meeting them, or in a crowded bar, or a sushi restaurant if you don’t ask for them 😉
3. Calibration — determines the effort/reward ratio of the women you date.
This is what is considered by most to be “game” or being “smooth.” How quick are your comebacks? How quickly can you make people feel comfortable around you and like you? How cool are you speaking to large groups of people? How sensitive are you to others emotions and feelings towards you? How able are you to influence those around you?Calibration determines how efficient you are with women you talk to. A man who is not socially calibrated may need to meet 100 women before he’s able to date one. A man who IS very socially calibrated may only need to meet 5 or 10 before he is able to date one.
This is getting to the heart of the matter. It’s being the kind of person other people want to be around, that they like talking to. That goes miles towards you meeting your goals with women.
All pick up routines, techniques and most theory is just pre-packaged calibration sold to you in ebook form. Some guy somewhere started using a line that worked well for him, so he wrote it down and sold it to you. Now you use it and it may or may not work depending on how well you know when to use it.
Calibration also applies to non-verbal communication… it also applies to recognizing emotions and reaction within yourself. If you’re not aware of your own thoughts and feelings, then you’ll never be able to congruently express them to somebody else. Source.”
This is summed up in one paragraph, but non-verbal communication is one of the most important things you have to consider when trying to up your game with women. It’s too much to get into in this post, but is something we will focus heavily here on this site.
Take what Mark has to say, digest it, and see if it makes sense to you. This business is all about finding what works for you and what clicks.
Check out my post on getting a woman to like you to read up on some more need-to-know information.
